Speaking Up at Work – Now is the Time.

Oh Canada! What a challenging time. Given the gift of many decades on this earth I believe we are, for the most part, a decent people striving to do the right thing.

At the same time, we are experiencing workplace productivity issues¹, and the North American political situation is causing upheaval as well. It’s an opportune moment to consider one way we can strengthen our Canadian workplace.

By focusing on what apparently everyone wants, but we require tools to deal with – good character. Both for our organizations and us, as individuals.²

One part of good character is speaking up. Speaking up honestly and candidly is part of integrity. We have integrity – let’s make sure others know it.

The Canadian character is often described as too passive. “A nice, apologetic, gentle people” ³ which make us vulnerable to be sidelined by the most aggressive, bullying voice.

There are two ways practical ways to consider this issue. First, think about your own voice – when you speak up and when you don’t. The other consideration is ensuring that those around you are speaking up. Hearing your colleagues, particularly your team, your peers and your leader is important, as you well know.

More communication,in all directions,can increase engagement.⁴ Speaking up about what is valuable and could be done more effectively increases the opportunity to develop a culture that enhances more constructive participation and thereby effectiveness.

Good character requires self-awareness, intentionality and skills. Of course, it is possible to develop good character⁵ – speaking up is only one element, but it is important.

Here is a short self-assessment covering both organizational culture and personal perspectives regarding speaking up.

Topic Additional Information True somewhat true, not true

  1. Your Character You believe it’s best to remain silent and conciliatory to keep the peace. Or not offend or hurt anyone.
  2. Finding the Words You fear an aggressive push back after you speak up, and you won’t know what to say next.
  3. Organizational Culture Your organization does not encourage people to share thoughts, so you keep your ideas to yourself.
  4. Trust You don’t believe that you will be heard and understood if you explain your point of view.
  5. Feel Ignored You make a suggestion, and it is ignored. Another says the same thing and is lauded. You often feel powerless.
  6. It’s Common Practice You see disrespectful, inappropriate behaviour as the norm in your workplace and therefore you just tolerate it.
  7. Given up You are so often interrupted, or your sentences finished by others that you have given up.
  8. Fear of Repercussions You’re concerned about damaging your reputation (being seen as difficult or odd) or facing other negative consequences if you speak up.
  9. Shrink down You are concerned that other’s may not approve if you express your true thoughts and feelings.
  10. Bullied into silence You are silenced and uncomfortable when experiencing bullying behaviour.
  11. Cashed Out You are so disappointed or hurt by past issues that you aren’t interested in organizational success.
  12. Too Late You are late in recognizing when you have been treated disrespectfully, and it is too late to say anything.
  13. Big Enough You know something negative has happened to you, but you worry that the issue is too small to mention.
  14. Hurt our Relationship You don’t want to damage a good relationship, so saying nothing seems like the best choice.

Interpreting Results.

If you find more than a couple of “somewhat true” or “not true” responses, then you may choose to make some changes. The Character Intelligence Model©⁶ can be applied to “skill up” in that particular area.

The goal of the blog this year is to provide information on developing a confident, authentically good, powerful voice by leveraging your character, both for you and your organization.

The assessment topics will be covered in 2025 blogs. The assessment is also in a downloadable template to use as required, for yourself and your team.

Click here to access assessment tool.

An example of one issue – Your Character (1.)

One of your team overtalks at meetings. This person interrupts others and dominates the conversation the majority of the time. You have asked them to invite others into the discussion and not interrupt, to no avail. This behaviour is hurting the team’s productivity and this person’s effectiveness. You know they mean well, they are a productive contributor in many ways, and enjoy talking, but you need to be clear regarding their impact on the team. You want to practice speaking up.

Following the Character Intelligence Model©, the starting point is Intention. Intention has four aspects: beliefs, principles, values and goals.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to ensure that your words and actions (speaking up behaviour) align with your intention.

Intentions:
• Beliefs – today, what do you think is the right thing to do in this situation?
• Principle – what is fair to all parties concerned?
• Values – what is important to you in this circumstance?
• Goals – what specific action would you like to take in this situation? What are the words and actions you would like to say/take?

By clarifying your intention, you determine that you will be more assertive and honest with the person and hold them accountable to change their behaviour. You decide to hold an in-person meeting and describe the behaviour you have observed and the impact on themselves, their colleagues, the work and you. You will ask them what they will do to stop taking so much airtime, and what they need to do this. You will set a follow up meeting with the person to assess the change/results.

To do this, you will be required to pay attention to your own thoughts so that your intention is not derailed. Also, attend to your feelings. Feelings of concern for the person can override your intention/actions.

The Character Intelligence Model© can be applied in any situation to determine if you should speak up or not by asking the questions above and paying attention to your thoughts and feelings as you apply your desired behaviour.

This is indeed a time when all our voices need to be heard. The self-assessment supports awareness around this issue and Character Intelligence Model© is a tool to develop greater strength and power in speaking up.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Kathleen has written five books based on good character in the workplace.

The books are accessible at www.centreforcharacterleadership.com

Resources and Additional Reading
¹ https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/230519/dq230519b-eng.htm
² https://www.regent.edu/journal/international-journal-of-leadership-studies/leading-with-integrity/
³ https://www.cbc.ca/2017/sorry-can-we-talk-about-why-canadians-apologize-so-much-1.3939997
⁴ https://www.benefitscanada.com/news/bencan/canadian-employees-engagement-in-line-with-global-average-of-21-survey/
⁵ https://your.yale.edu/work-yale/learn-and-grow/career-development/build-your-character-through-lifelong-learning
⁶ link to the Character Intelligence Model.

With gratitude,

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com

905.478.7962



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Getting my Leadership Team on the Same Page

The Case

A senior leader asked the following question. “Why is it that senior leaders compete with each other rather than support each other? This behaviour trickles down to their teams, which is destructive for our business. How do I get them on the same page?”

The Character Approach

Intention is the starting point. What are the beliefs, goals and values of the senior team? You believe that if they work together, that will be good for all concerned. But what do they believe?

From a values perspective how do they believe they should treat each other? It seems so obvious that people of integrity would work together. Not only is it the right thing to do, but it is better for everyone and the business. Yet, 88% of all employees believe that there is a need for “moral leadership” among the most senior levels in their organization.
In a survey by Robert Half, 75% of employees ranked “integrity” as the most important aspect of a leader.*

This results underlines the importance of Character Intelligence.

Let’s continue to delve into how our internal narratives shape our behaviour.

Thoughts: Leaders often have a continuous inner dialogue that influences their decision-making process. It’s important to be aware of these thoughts and question their validity. Are they based on facts or assumptions? Do they align with the values and goals of the organization?

Feelings: Emotions play a crucial role in leadership. They can provide valuable insights into our values and motivations. However, it’s crucial to manage these feelings to ensure they don’t cloud judgment or lead to impulsive decisions.

Behaviour: The actions we take as leaders are a direct reflection of our intention, thoughts and feelings.

Actions that the leader can take:

  1. Meet with the senior team to develop expectations of how they work together in specific terms.
    · What does supporting each other look like?
    · What does undermining each other look like?
    · What does “integrity” mean in behavioural terms?
    · What to do when the expectations have not been met?
    · How to develop supportive and collaborative behaviour among and
    between their teams?
    · What is their leader’s role in ensuring accountability to these expectations.
  2. Follow up with each direct report individually to coach for performance success.
  3. Where possible include assessment of this behaviour in the performance management process including formal reviews.

Incorporating the Character Intelligence Framework; Intentions, Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviours into daily practice can lead to more reflective and effective leadership. It encourages leaders to be mindful of their internal processes and how they impact their interactions and decisions within the organization.

Check out the Character Culture interview on our website for more information.

Click link here to visit our website to watch.

I am taking some time this summer to research, reflect and write.

The next blog will be in the fall.

Best wishes for a wonderful summer.

https://press.roberthalf.com/2016-09-22-What-Is-The-Most-Important-Leadership-Attribute

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com
905.478.7962

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Working Together When Trust Is Lacking

The Case

A client wrote that they work with an untrustworthy peer. Promises aren’t kept, the person is demeaning, etc. Their leader doesn’t deal with the situation and in the past when the client tried to provide feedback directly, they were rudely ignored. Our client offers this as an issue to be dealt with in a “Character Approach manner – how to work effectively with this person?

The Character Approach

Intention – What he wants to happen
The intention of this client is to continue working with the person, as he chooses to stay in this job. Hopefully, he finds a way to improve the relationship and one way or another, get the job done as effectively as possible. He also wants to be able to deal with the situation without evoking an emotional reaction on his own part.

Thoughts – What he thinks about the situation
The client suspects that any attempt to communicate directly about past issues will be met with disdain and will be unproductive. He believes the best approach is to find a way to move forward.

Feelings – What he feels about the situation
The client feels like he walks on eggshells around his person as he is fearful of a negative outcome. He is uncomfortable with the lack of civility and collaboration. “Feeling” questions for him to consider are “what is reasonable to expect of other people?”, “how do you deal with the other people in your life who are untrustworthy?” and “ideally, how would you like to feel/behave when you are confronted with people who behave in an untrustworthy fashion?”

Behaviours – What he is choosing to do
Working together when trust is lacking can be challenging, but not impossible. By establishing clear goals and expectations, communicating openly and honestly, focusing on common ground, and addressing conflicts directly, people can often work together effectively, even when trust is not strong. It takes skill and commitment, but can be worth the effort. Continuing without making changes is not in his best interest.

  1. Establish clear goals and expectations. It is a reasonable step to clarify the goals and expectations of each as they work together.

Putting it into Words. “As colleagues, we need to agree on what we want to achieve and how we will measure our progress. What are the main objectives and deliverables for our work/project? What are the roles and responsibilities of each of us? How will we communicate and coordinate our work? What is the best approach if an issue arises?”

  1. Communicate openly and honestly Continue to create an agreement for how they work together.

Putting it into Words. “If you have any information, questions, or feedback that might affect our work, please share it with the me. This is what I require to be effective. If you have any issues or challenges that you need help with, please let me know. I’m ready and willing to support you and ask the same from you.”

  1. Focus on common ground Trust may be lacking in a team because there is a lack of rapport or connection between the people. They may have different backgrounds, personalities, or styles, which can create differences or clashes. To avoid this, it is important to focus on common ground, finding areas of agreement, similarity, or interest. This can help build empathy and respect in the team and foster a positive and collaborative team culture. Also think about having the same conversation with other colleagues to create a consistent work style.

Putting it into Words. “What are some of the things that we have in common, such as values, interests, or goals? How can we leverage our diverse strengths, perspectives, and experiences to enhance our work? How can we celebrate our successes and learn from our mistakes as colleagues?”

  1. Apply your listening and empathy skills. In previous blogs we talked about Listen-Acknowledgement-Ask©, as well as SNIP© (Stop, Notice, Inquire, Plan). These skills will come be useful in these conversations.

Putting It Into Words.

Listen-Acknowledge-Ask©

SNIP©

  1. Follow up and Documentation. After the conversation consider sending an email (or whatever form of documentation is appropriate) to outline your agreement and establish a date to review progress.

Conclusion: Navigating such scenarios requires patience, empathy, and a commitment to open communication. The character approach provides a structured, assertive way to address this challenge, promoting a healthier, more respectful work environment. It requires effort to work with people who have different values and styles that yourself, but it is often required. Hopefully this approach will be useful to you.

Call to Action: Have you faced similar situations? How did you handle them?
Please send us other situations for a future blog at my email below.

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com
905.478.7962

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Handling “Hit and Run” Behaviour in the Workplace

This year we have been soliciting workplace challenges and responding with a Character Intelligence Approach. The specific situations and suggestions of actual words (Putting it into Words) is being well received, so this format will continue for the months to come. Thank you for your interest.

The Case: You’re facing a situation where a colleague (your peer) frequently makes critical comments or accusatory statements in passing, often leaving no time/room for a meaningful dialogue. You are often embarrassed and surprised by the comments and can’t think of a good response when this happens. It feels like a “hit and run.” Despite your attempts to initiate a conversation to understand and address any issues, your colleague dismisses your concerns as petty or labels you as overly sensitive.

The Character Approach:

Intention: Your goal is to establish a respectful, open line of communication with your colleague, ensuring that any issues are addressed constructively and without personal attacks.

Thoughts: Reflect on the situation as objectively as possible. Consider the reasons behind your colleague’s behaviour. Could there be underlying issues influencing their actions?

Feelings: Acknowledge your own emotions. Feeling targeted or misunderstood is natural. Recognize these emotions, but also consider how this situation might be affecting your colleague’s emotional state. You have previously observed that is very uncomfortable openly discussing situations where he has some responsibility. He appears quick to blame others.

Behaviours: Here’s how you might approach the situation:

  1. Seek a Private Conversation: Despite past refusals, request a private meeting with your colleague. Emphasize the importance of mutual understanding and respect in the workplace.
  2. Prepare and Listen: Enter the conversation prepared to listen as much as you speak. Express your concerns calmly and encourage your colleague to share their perspective. Apply SNIP© (see link) as you listen to his perspective.
  3. Use Empathetic Communication: Practice empathy. Acknowledge your colleague’s feelings and viewpoints, even if you disagree. This can help in understanding the root of their behaviour. Apply Listen-Acknowledge-Ask© (see link).

Putting it into Words. “I promise to take the least amount of time possible for this conversation. My hope is that we find a way to support each other be as successful as possible, in a way that works for both of us? May I please have your help with this?”

  1. Establish Mutual Expectations: Aim to establish clear, mutual expectations for future interactions. Agree to address issues directly and respectfully. If the individual will not constructively problem solve with you, let him know you will ask your leader for advice on how to proceed. Do ask your leader for their counsel on how to deal with the situation.

Putting it into Words. “I want to be clear regarding what works for me. If there is another situation where I feel unfairly criticized or put down, I will let you know on the spot. What can I expect from you?”

  1. Follow-up and Documentation: After the conversation, send a polite email summarizing the discussion and agreed actions and/or next steps. This ensures clarity and accountability.

Conclusion: Navigating such scenarios requires patience, empathy, and a commitment to open communication. The character approach provides a structured, assertive way to address this challenge, promoting a healthier, more respectful work environment.

Call to Action: Have you faced similar situations? How did you handle them?
Please send us other situations for a future blog at my email below.

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com
905.478.7962

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What to do when a peer is maligning your reputation?

Happy New Year.

2024 is off to a rollicking start and it appears good character, collaboration and healthy cultures continues to be a point of focus.

This year the blog will be a little different.
There have been many requests for the actual wording in different situations. Clients often say – I know what I want to say, but can’t find the words to say it.

In response to these requests, let’s take a case per month and explore, from a character point of view (Intention, thoughts, feelings, behaviours) the words and actions that are reasonable and potentially appropriate for you.

January case – What to do when a peer is maligning your reputation?

The case
Your leader was promoted. You and a peer applied for their position. You, although younger and with less tenure, were promoted. The fellow applicant has been saying negative things about you to other team members. The team members have been telling you confidentially about the negative comments. You are not sure what to do.

The Character Approach – Dealing with issues with a courageous, considered response

Intention – Responding vs reacting
· What do you want to achieve in this situation?
· What would be the best possible outcome for you?
· How have you seen other similar situations successfully handled?

Thoughts – What is going through your mind?
· How does this person treat you?
· What assumptions are you making about their motivation?
· How can you deal with the issue without revealing what has been told to you in confidence?

Feelings – How to handle emotion – yours and the other persons?
· What is your emotional reaction when you hear what you are being told? (I know from my clients and indeed in my own life, this type of situation can take you aback. It might be useful for you to make notes about the situation as you work through it. Ideally the next time something like this happens, you will feel more prepared.)
· What are your feelings about dealing with this situation?
· What do you fear might be the reaction if you confront the issue directly?
· What do you think is happening emotionally to the other person?

Behaviours – What you actually say and do to deal with the situation

An option is to speak to the person directly. Ask for a private meeting with the person and ensure you are prepared to listen as well as speak. The focus is on what will be different in the future. The past is over and there is no point bringing up what happened.

The tools of Listen-Acknowledge, Ask©, and SNIP© are referenced in these links.

Behaviour – Putting It Into Words

Thank you for making the time for this conversation which is very important to me. I know that we both applied for this job and I am wondering what it is like for you at this point?

Listen. Use empathy (Listen – Acknowledge – Ask©) as appropriate.

I need to be sure of your support. If you see an opportunity to either recognize what I am doing well or if I can be more effective, please bring the issue to my attention. And only discuss the issue with me. How does my request land with you?

If the person asks if you have heard something from others, tell the truth. E.g.

Yes, and what I think is fair, rather than believe second hand information, is to bring issues directly to you. What is important is how we treat each other. I will certainly be honest and supportive of you with and am asking for the same from you. Do I have your commitment?

If the person commits to this behaviour, establish a follow-up date and send an email to them to summarize the meeting.

Final Thoughts
Of course, every circumstance is different, and you will do what is right for you, in the words you are comfortable with, and as fits the situation. The goal of this blog is to offer a structured approach and a pathway for consideration. Whatever path you take, you will learn more about yourself and your character.

Please feel free to send your comments or other cases to consider at my email below.

Best wishes,

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com
905.478.7962

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What does AI and Webster’s Latest Inclusion mean for Leaders?

How quickly life can change and as leaders we have no choice but to keep up, on top of all your other responsibilities. Two potentially opposing issues are in the news this month – AI and the latest Merriam-Webster addition, authenticity. What does this mean? Here is my take.

First of all,there has been an explosion of information and discussions regarding the benefits and challenges of Artificial Intelligence.

How can AI technology benefit the workplace as well as how do you mitigate the possible negative impacts? As per Gartner, 37% of organizations have implemented AI in some form. The percentage of enterprises employing AI grew 270% over the past four years. According to Servion Global Solutions, by 2025, 95% of customer interactions will be powered by AI.

Ignoring AI and wishing it would go away would be roughly the equivalent of wishing that cell phones would disappear.

At the same time “Authentic” was selected as the 2023 word of the year by the Merriam-Webster dictionary, landing among the most-looked-up words in the dictionary’s 500,000 entries, the company said in a press release November 27th.

The definition of Authentic is “not false or imitation: real, actual,” as in an authentic cockney accent. There’s “true to one’s own personality, spirit or character.” There’s “worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact.”

What these two issues speak to is the importance of the leader-direct report connection. As you know, for years I have been reporting on the improved trust, focus and overall effectiveness experienced by leaders who hold regular one-on-one conversations with their team members.

The two individuals get to know each other as conversation go beyond project updates.

Discussions focus on what is working for them, what could be done more effectively, in what areas do they want to grow etc. The person’s character – through their intention, goals, values, and what information they hold to be true, emerges. Certainly, a discussion on AI is of significant importance. And the relationship is mutual. Your team will know the “authentic you” as well.

In a Harvard Business Review article authors Groysberg and Slind stated some time ago,
“The command-and-control approach to management has in recent years become less and less viable. Globalization, new technologies, and changes in how companies create value and interact with customers have sharply reduced the efficacy of a purely directive, top-down model of leadership. What will take the place of that model? Part of the answer lies in how leaders manage communication within their organizations—that is, how they handle the flow of information to, from, and among their employees. Traditional corporate communication must give way to a process that is more dynamic and more sophisticated. Most important, that process must be conversational.”

Factor in the virtual workplace – it is so rare that we are actually in the same room with a person. This is precious time – the opportunity for connection and conversation becomes even more important.

As we enter the holiday season what better time to spend time getting to know your team even more profoundly. And letting them get to know you. Authenticity at its best. Without anything artificial.

Have a terrific month.

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com
905.478.7962

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Testing character in a difficult situation.

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Leveraging character in a difficult situation.

We promised a blog on how to deal with people who undermine you. An example – a peer told you they heard one of your team members tell others that you are incompetent and you made poor decisions for the team.

The question is how do you respond in this situation from a good character perspective?

Let’s start with what does good character actually means.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes character as “the complex mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person, group, or nation.”

Everyone possesses their own character. “Who you are” is displayed through your words and actions.

But what drives your words and actions? How do you manage your character?

That is indeed the question. The graphic at the start of this blog identifies the internal and external elements that form our character and provides a self-management tool.

Who you are starts with your intentions.
Identifying your beliefs (what you believe to be true), values (what is important to you, and what you will and won’t do), your objectives (what you are focused on achieving) and priorities (what takes first, second etc. importance) is a critical place to start.

In the example of someone undermining you, the first step is to take a breath and decide to respond thoughtfully, rather than reacting in a way that potentially causes harm and you regret.

The model offers “Intention” questions to ask yourself,
• What would be the very best way for you to handle this situation?
• What outcome would you like to see?
• What is the fairest way to handle this situation (to yourself and others)?

After creating clear intentions your thoughts and feelings must be acknowledged and managed before, during and after the conversation(s).

Our thoughts are assumptions, the information upon which we are basing our perspectives, and ideas that come forth.

“Thoughts” questions,

• What do you actually know about this situation?
• Where did the information come from?
• What else can you do to get clarity?

Our feelings are the emotions that emerge, for example, whether it is uncomfortable to have a certain conversation etc.

“Feelings” question,

• What emotion did you experience upon hearing/reading about the situation?
• What emotion do you have to pay attention to ask you deal with the situation?
• What is the potential emotional state of the person who provided the information?

All of this inner work manifests in our behaviour, our words and actions. Certainly, there is an element of skill in how we communicate (the outer ring in the Character Model), but the place to start is with the inner elements.

“Behaviour” questions,

• Given the “inner work” that you have done in order to deal with this situation, what will you actually do?
• What skill(s) do you want to apply?
• How will you follow up with the person who provided the information?

It may seem like a great deal of work to really honour your character, vs. just reacting, but this is a tool for dealing with difficult situations in a thoughtful, character-focused way, that you can be proud of.

In client coaching sessions we would apply a few more tools for this situation. Don’t hesitate to contact me if you would like to have a more detailed consultation. Reach out to me for a complimentary 20-minute session at Kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com

Next month’s blog will focus on how to deal with situations where a third party is attempting to get in the middle of your relationship with someone else.

Have a terrific month.

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com
905.478.7962

If

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Character Approach to Building Trust through Communication

In our July blog we talked about the importance of having One-to-One conversations with each of your direct reports.

Of course, this is the right thing to do, but the challenge is when something is said that surprises you, or you disagree with, or is just not true. How you react reveals a great deal about you. This is a moment of truth. It is the moment when people are going to decide if it is safe to open up to you. A moment when your character will be revealed.

In the previous blog you had access to a listening model called Listen-Acknowledge-Ask©. Let’s talk about how to really apply this active listening model.
Sometimes it’s hard to listen. You have to be in a time and a place where you can focus on what the person is saying rather than being distracted by technology, other people around you, etc etera. This is why it is so important to schedule One-on-One meetings that are dedicated to communicating about how they work rather than the content of their work. These are two separate issues. Schedule a time and place where you can talk confidentially, privately and without interruption.

The next step is really hearing what the person is saying.
Not just the message in terms of words, but the deeper message in terms of emotion. What is driving what they are saying?

Take your time. Slow down. One subject at a time. Ask open-ended questions like;
• Tell me more about that, or
• Where did you get the information?, or
• Is there something you want me to hear that I don’t understand right now?

Repeat back what you hear in terms of the message. “This is what I think you are saying…” Ask the person for confirmation. If you are corrected – good. You are communicating.

Empathy can create a very important bridge between what the person is saying and where you, and they, want to go. Empathy might be conveyed by saying;
• That sounds like a really important subject for you, or
• I hear that you are angry over this (or disappointed or delighted or frustrated)

If you are corrected, again, that is good. Hearing takes work!

You connect with the person by understanding what they’re saying in terms of the message and acknowledging the emotion you are observing.

The last part is to ask. Where do you (or they) need to go from here. Potential questions;
• What do you think is the next step? or
• How can we be sure we are working with the same information? or
• What can we do to be sure we are on the same page? and
• Now that we are on the same page, what is the solution?

People will open up to you if they trust you. Trust is created (or damaged), in every touch point. Your gestures, facial expression, pace and tone of voice must be supportive, open and objective. Be curious – you just never know.

The information they reveal must be handled very carefully. Never sharing anything the person would consider confidential (unless it is harmful to themselves or others). Never use this information in any way that would decrease the person’s trust in you.

Being able to truly hear in the difficult moments demonstrates your good character.

Things for leaders to think about.
• Do I really want to hear what my direct reports think/have to say?
• Do I care if my people trust me?
• Is it worth my time to ask my direct reports (and my own boss and peers) for 30 minutes every two or three weeks to build a trusting relationship?
• What is the best way to document these conversations? (Ideally, the direct report documents, and you have access to, the summary of what was discussed, if appropriate).

My 4th book Communicating in a Character Culture focuses on healthy, effective One-on-One conversations. I am pleased to send a complimentary copy of the book to the first three people who respond and comment on this blog.

Upcoming blogs

Next month the blog will focus on dealing with people who undermine you.

Kindly pass this blog on to others who may find it useful.

Much appreciated,

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com
905.478.7962

If we can be of any help, please don’t hesitate to reach out at my email above.

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Discussing Character Revealed Character!

So, you may be interested in knowing what happened after June’s blog focusing on good character in the workplace was released.
Link to June blog.
An online newspaper – Newmarket Today, published it as an opinion piece on their front page – so there were more reactions than I typically receive. There were some very interesting comments that I have been thinking about these last few weeks.

Summary of The Comments.        The majority of feedback was positive and congratulated me on speaking up regarding the importance of good character and specifically the importance of talking about how we treat and want to treat, each other       Two people reacted to the Blog title and berated me without reading the content        Two people unsubscribed from my blog as “the content was not relevant to the workplace”       One person started the email by insulting me and finished by insulting our former Governor General        Several people focused on whether the Right Honourable David Johnston should have been chosen for the role, even though the point of the blog was the importance of being intentional regarding how we treat each other in moments of disagreement.

What to make of this? Questions that arose for me.     Should we never speak up as there is a risk of misunderstandings?     Should we just keep silent because there are people who are ready to judge and attack? Should we let the loudest, most aggressive voices dominate the conversation?      Does the “online option” provide a venue for angry people, particularly when the attack is from an anonymous source?    Do many people only read a snippet vs. all of the content?   Are we overwhelmed with all the information available? Should we ignore bad behaviour because it is safer for us? Have the last few challenging years of pandemic, financial pressure, societal exposure and political upheaval tapped into anger that already existed or simply generated more rage? Has incivility become “normal”? Is it taboo to talk about character?

So what does this mean for the workplace? My thoughts always turn to the workplace as my clients struggle with the same issues, although often in different ways. We know that character counts as character drives behaviour. We know that we want to work in healthy, civil workplaces. It is better for our health, our organizations and our society. (If anyone wants to read the research that supports this information, let me know.)

Actions that leaders can take.   Whenever possible, stop using texting/emailing/messaging etc. and talk directly to your people. One-on-One, in-person conversations with your direct reports are a powerful tool in developing mutual understanding and building trust.

Questions you can potentially ask;
a.    How comfortable do you feel in speaking up when you see something that could be improved or requires attention?
b.    What is the most effective way of providing information to you?
c.     What voice(s) overpower your point of view?
d.    How are we doing at gathering different points of view in a constructive way?
e.    Do you feel respected?
f.      What can we do to create more civility and respect?
g.    When we talk about character, we talk about intention, thoughts, feelings and ultimately behaviour. How comfortable are you with this discussion?

Asking questions such as this require leaders to listen openly and non-defensively to the answers. 
Click here for our “listening tool” that may be useful to you.

Upcoming blogs The next blog will focus on how to respond when people have a surprising perspective, and/or inaccurate information. Have a good month and I look forward to sharing the reaction to this blog.
Kindly pass on to others who may find it useful.

Much appreciated,  

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com 905.478.7962


If we can be of any help, please don’t hesitate to reach out at my email above.
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Centre for Character Leadership | 1111 Davis Drive, 1-174, Newmarket, L3Y 7V1 Canada